PIXELS

Synopsis: Kids play in the 1982 Atari World Championships – little Billy Madison is a gaming genius who can see “patterns” in the game. He ends up losing the championship to FIRE BLASTER aka Tyrion in a game of Donkey Kong (BTW If you haven’t seen the documentary King of Kong you must go see it, it’s amazing and way better than you think it is right now). The Guinness Book of World Records is there but for some strange reason NASA is there as well to video tape the whole contest. They intend on taking the footage of the 1982 Atari World Championships and blasting into our “Solar System” (you would think they would want to send it out of our solar system but this movie isn’t big on the details).  Well it turns out Aliens find it and misinterpret the meaning of the message from NASA and believe it’s a declaration of war in a winner takes all match. The aliens send over big energon versions of the games in which we start off with Galaga, then go to Breakout (I think that’s what destroyed the Taj Mahal), then on to Centipede, and then to PACMAN on the mean streets of Manhattan.  The kid versions of Billy Madison, Tyrion, and their sidekick guy who was in the new Beauty and the Beast end up using their “totally tubular” gaming skills to kick some Alien butt!

Title: Pixels

Tagline: “It’s time to save the world”

Budget: $88MM

Box Office: WW Gross – $236MM

Key Actors:

  • Billy Madison
  • Paul Blart
  • Tyrion
  • The Girl from Mission Impossible

 

Analysis:

The movie starts off by kicking you right in the head – Kevin James is the president of the united states. I don’t think I ever in a million years would have thought to cast him as POTUS. If you think that’s ridiculous, the next kick in the head is Adam Sandler being cast as an action hero! I’m not sure which premise is crazier. My two cents on this is that everything from the roles to the premise to the story is so absurd it makes the movie work. If they actually fixed any of these things, it would probably look like it was trying to be good rather than just trying to be fun.

Review:

The movie is so ridiculous that it’s funny – everything from Kevin James not being able to read simple children’s books to Josh Gad rattling off incredibly ridiculous conspiracy theories that would fall right into the plot of a National Treasure movie. Peter Dinklage’s character stuck in the 80s cross with an irreverent criminality is incredibly well executed. Surprise cameos from Sean Bean, Serena Williams, and Dan Aykroyd up the production value as well. In general, this is an incredibly stupid but fun movie. I give it a B-

This book report was the biggest loss in bookreportbets.com history. It was 7 way action with 2:1 odds that Pixels would have a better opening than the Emoji Movie. It’s a sad world where this didn’t happen. While I enjoyed Pixels, my faith in humanity has dropped to a new low.

This is Book Report 1 of 7 for this bet. ☹

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