Hillary – The Movie

Here is the entire movie – not just the trailer – I highly encourage you to not watch it. Well this one is going to be a doozy. This will be the first “documentary” I will have reviewed under book report bets. This film has been an incredibly frustrating watch for lots of reasons and […]

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Gamer

Gamer, ahh (or should is say aghh!) the timeless tail of rebels fighting the government, man vs. the machine, free will, the gladiatorial arena, or is it a more modern cautionary tale about the prison industrial complex? Truth be told, its all of these things in their most terrible form. The cast in this movie […]

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Girl’s Trip

GIRL, YOU CANT GET NO INFECTION IN YO BOOTY HOLE! This all started when I went to the Renaissance Faire (that’s Faire with an ‘e’). As my friends and I walked through the streets of olde towne we met characters of all sorts and sizes. Many shopkeepers calling their wares from a distance and many […]

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Natural Selection

Scene Opens: A hunter is walking through a forest and slowly stumbles. Camera pans and we realize why he stumbled, he was shot. Is this why the movie is called Natural Selection? Have the animals evolved? Do the hunters become the hunted? We shall see… This is maybe the worst book report I’ve had to […]

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The Space Between Us

So here it is, the last and final book report for this atrocious Pixels vs Emoji bet. In some ways I have put this movie off and in some ways I have saved it for last. The other movies assigned to me are what I consider traditionally bad. This one could go either way. I […]

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Eegah!

Title: Eegah Tagline: The Crazed Love of a Prehistoric Giant for a Ravishing Teenage Girl! Budget: N/A Box Office: -$10MM? Key Actors: Jaws from Moonraker Blonde Boy with a smooshed face aka Ugly Kid aka UK Harlot named Roxy Shitty Alan Quartermaine aka Roxy’s Dad Synopsis: The movie starts with an ugly kid pumping gas […]

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The Emoji Movie

This movie is about murder. This movie is about totalitarian governments. This movie is about the downtrodden masses who only yearn for work. This movie is about police brutality. This movie is about vengeful gods. This movie is about assimilation. This movie is about consumerism. This movie is about America. ☹ Title: The Emoji Movie […]

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