I love post-apocalyptic movies, especially when the apocalypse is because of nuclear fallout. I’ve played *a lot* of Fallout, I think I am prepared. Title: Hell Comes to Frogtown Tagline: A new breed of enemy has taken over the world… Sam Hell has come to take it back. Budget: Couldn’t find it but my guess […]Read more "Hell Comes to Frogtown"
As Maximus Decimus Meridius, the commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius, father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife said: “I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.” (for making me watch this movie) BTW, Chris […]Read more "Santa with Muscles"
You guys. Fifty Shades Darker is not, I repeat, is not a spin-off of Grey’s Anatomy. There’s no McSteamy or McDreamy. Just McBroodey and McBadWriting. I know Grey’s Anatomy had that spin-off before. With the red headed doctor. And I think Tim Daly. And Taye Diggs maybe? Damn, he’s a fucking good looking mother fucker. […]Read more "FIFTY SHADES DARKER … More Like FIFTY BRAINCELLS DEADER, Am I Right?"
This movie is incredibly retarded and I definitely lost many braincells watching it. Well done Mel, so far you are winning the “who can brain damage Ameesh the most” xoxo Title: Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Tagline: N/A Budget: ??? Box Office: 8==D ~ ~ ~ Key Actors: Steve Sanders Marc Cuban Sugar Ray The […]Read more "Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!"
Synopsis: Kids play in the 1982 Atari World Championships – little Billy Madison is a gaming genius who can see “patterns” in the game. He ends up losing the championship to FIRE BLASTER aka Tyrion in a game of Donkey Kong (BTW If you haven’t seen the documentary King of Kong you must go see […]Read more "PIXELS"
HERE WE GO! I vaguely remember this movie coming out. Something about a HUGE budget and a colossal flop and one of Steve Carell’s worst movies ever. I also believe there is a sequel called Bruce Almighty but I only made the connection when folks were talking about it in the office. This movie was […]Read more "EVAN ALMIGHTY"
Left Behind II: Tribulation Force is the jewel of the extremely-bejeweled, three-part – and hopefully counting – Left Behind franchise. It chronicles the story of Buck Williams, a renegade journalist living in a world where millions have suddenly and without notice disappeared, and those left behind – the “leftovers” if you will (and I know […]Read more "Tour-bulation de Force"
So I don’t really like scary movies and this is a fairly wide known fact so as I lose book report bets I expect to get these assigned to me. The Mangler is what most people would put into the campy horror bucket, I still don’t like watching these. I got scared watch Ghoulies, or […]Read more "The Mangler"
So I am watching Real Steel. I lost a bet and I need to just pull the band aid off with this one so I will be creating a rhetorical stream of consciousness while the film is playing on my tv. The movie starts off with our boy Hugh driving a big rig through Kansas […]Read more "Real Steel"
I lost a bet* and challenged Friend 1, who won the bet, to find a worst movie for me to review than United Passions, which is possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Confident in the fact that his own abilities are lacking, Friend 1 decided to reach out to Friend 2 — who he […]Read more "THE COLOR OF TIME – Rose are Red, Violets are Blue, Some Movies Suck, and Some Other Movies Also Suck"